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It’ll be 24 degrees and might snow tonight in New York City as frigid Canadian wind sweeps the East. San Francisco it’s 50 degrees and oppressively gray — naturally. In Los Angeles, it’s 73 degrees and it feels like perfect — the air is silky cool and the sunshine is like a wet kiss. Some people say Los Angeles has no seasons. We just have perfect effing weather 300 days out of the year. Suck it, rest of the world. 10 to Love Los Angeles and never, ever leave.

Los Angeles is famous for many things, but one stands high above all others: It’s the world capital of moving large objects slowly through the streets. The road trip of the Space Shuttle Endeavor, the giant rock dragged to the Los Angeles County Museum of Art, and those vast structures covered in flowers and powered through Pasadena by what sound like lawnmower engines. Type “marijuana pre” into Google and the third suggestion is “marijuana prescriptions los angeles. The second is “marijuana pregnancy,” surely a phrase people start Googling once they’ve gotten the prescription.

Even better news: In May, Los Angeles voters will vote on three different ordinances that seek to regulate medical weed dispensaries, something the L. City Council has managed not to do for 15 or so years. That means more pot shops will start to resemble businesses, not your buddy Dale’s college dorm room. Is there another city on earth that is a reasonable driving distance away from the desert, snow-capped mountains, beach and the happiest place on earth, aka Tijuana? But you no longer have to drive! Also, in case you haven’t heard, the Los Angeles River has been fully designated a real river again! Can steamboat trips from Van Nuys to Boyle Heights be far behind?

It’s just too chill for them. People here aren’t sprinting to catch the subway or desperately striving for success like they are over there. Here we take the long view. But it’s like, hey man, slow your roll, there’s always time for some yoga, and an 80-minute coffee sesh at Intelli, and like, who knows, maybe tomorrow will be like, whatever? That’s where cults come in, and Los Angeles is the cult capital of Xenu’s great universe. Lazy, overpaid, entitled, very little knowledge of soccer.